Making Love For Fun
by O'Im Only Joking
Summary: Ste/Brendan. They share a steamy night of passion, they both enjoy it... but what happens when Ste falls in love with him? Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my attempt at a Ste & Brendan fiction. It will most likely be utter crap. But if people do read it then thank you very much. **

**Disclaimer: Owned by HO/Channel 4. What lucky gits. **

**Warning: Terrible characterisations plus poor grammar and punctuation.**

**Brendan's POV**

'You're a bit of a softy really, aren't you?'

If it wasn't for the amount of lager I have consumed I'd of smacked him by now. But it's been a good night; we've had a laugh, and Stephen's a decent fella. He's easy going and sort of relaxes me, takes my mind off of things, which can only be beneficial.

I look at him and laugh.

'Huh? Stephen I respect you, so I'll never act like I do in front of anyone else.'

He raises his eyebrows, grinning wickedly. My stomach does a weird movement, a bit like a summersault. The drink really as got to me.

'Aww. I respect you, too bud. You've been good to me these last few weeks.'

'Want another drink?' He asks cheerfully before heading for the kitchen.

My mind reacts before I can even think; I jump up eagerly and stand in front of him. I stare at him thoroughly; his stench is mixed with deodorant and a mixture of toxics. I'm not sure what I'm doing, neither does Ste.

I shake my head confused.

'What?' He asks he looks a bit scared.

'We've had a good night, haven't we?'

He then smiles up at me and laughs quietly.

'Yeah, it's been brill.'

I feel the weight of my right arm touch his cheek… I've touched him many times before. But this feels different, he feels different. His eyes shake side to side. He watches me without moving an inch.

My mouth is dry, my head is spinning, and my heart is pounding so fast. I want to move that bit closer to him, but it's wrong… sick. It would ruin my life; I'd hate my self for ages and probably loose Ste in the long run. I don't want that, but I do want to feel an extra connection with him.

'Are you okay?' He finally asks with a shaky breath.

I don't know. Am I? Or am I totally loosing my head here.

'Would I ruin it if I did this?'

Without a second thought I hurriedly kiss him; he doesn't respond straight way, and I feel rejected, but before I pull back he grabs the back of my head; his lips pout as he kisses me slowly, it feels strange, but I feel so exhilarated. Our chests and breathing grows heavier as the kiss grows stronger and more powerful, I nip my tongue shyly into his mouth and search the new maze; his mouth is warm and hungry.

He pulls back slowly and looks up at me slightly surprised, but happy. His breathing is heavy; it makes my heart pound that little bit more. He gives me an answer that should make me feel repulsed and ashamed of my actions; but it don't I feel pretty amazing.

'No.'

**A/N: Only a short thing to start off with. It's really bad, I know but I wanted to give it a try! Reviews are love. X **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to all those who read the first chapter, it wasn't many but thank you all the same! It means a lot, and I'm surprised there hasn't been more Ste and Brendan fics. Hope this will do in the mean time. **

**This is full of smut… don't get too exited, my smut is as cold as two stones next to each other, but I'll give it a go! **

**Again, the characterisations will not be the best, but that's the art of fiction I guess. **

**The chemistry is really good though! This week's episodes were full of so many different emotions, one minute I was squealing and wanting to rip off their clothes, the next I wanted to slap Brendan and hug Ste. **

**This is dedicated to all those fans out there; I hope this fandom hits off because Kieran and Emmett work well together! Okay, I'm going to stop talking now. **

**Enjoy! **

**Ste's POV**

* * *

This is all very strange. One minute we're out in town eyeing up several women then he invites me back here, we talk like we've known each other for years, he was so nice to me; like a different person. Now we're stood clinging on to each other like our lives depend on it. This is my boss, hard Irish man Brendan. Brendan Brady. The thing I never realized I needed.

His mouth and breaths are demanding. His tongue reaches that bit more into my mouth and I struggle to breathe, but I'm too scared to let go.

He finally puts his hand on my chest and our lips leave each others, he pushes be backwards slightly and I fear that he's going to tell me to leave, or worse, batter the shit of me. This is _Brendan _after all; you never know how he's going to be with you. This is both sexy and scary. I just say what I think he wants to hear:

'I'm sorry.'

I'm sorry because I don't know why I kissed him back, I mean, I've got kids I'm not _gay_, I've never seen him in the light I see him now. My feelings for him seem to have changed in a mille-second. What is wrong with me?

It must be the booze. Yeah, _that's _what it is.

He makes a small grunt and walks towards me so our chests connect. He's so predatory, it's not as though I've never realized that side to him before, but tonight it's so different; calmer and chilling. Shit. He's so pulling at my heart strings here and I'm not sure I want him to stop.

'What are you doing to me, eh?' He asks his eyes darkening with every second. It's probably his thinking face.

Does he want me to answer that? I don't think I've done anything… again; I just give him an answer that sounds right:

'It must be all that Irish malt and lack of women tonight,' I laugh shyly.

He laughs, it sounds strong and charming. I so badly want to kiss him again, his lip are like an invitation.

'Nah, I've felt like this for a while.' He confesses.

I can't grasp what he's telling me. He can't find me attractive surely?

I nip my tongue out to wet my lips and attach my lips to his again, he quickly takes charge and lifts me up and puts me on the floor, he's quickly on top of me and bites ay my bottom lip and tongue expertly.

'Slow down.' I quickly whisper.

But he doesn't listen and continues to kiss at my cheek and neck, I feel his slender hands unbutton my shirt and I lift my back up off the floor and discard it to the other side of the room. His moustache tickles as he kisses down my chest, I can't help but giggle and he stops to look up at me, he looks slightly annoyed.

'What?' He asks out of breath.

'Nothing. Carry on please.' I don't want to ruin the moment; I doubt we'll be doing this again any time soon.

'Tell me.' He says, this time more forcefully.

I sigh and just blurt it out.

'It just tickles that's all, ya know, your moustache.'

He slides his tongue along his top teeth before laughing.

'No one's complained before.' He says worried.

'I'm not complaining… I like it.' I tell him with a cheeky smile and carries on.

He whips my belt off and takes off my jeans and boxers together. The cold air hits me fast, and I feel nervous all of a sudden, but before I have time to worry he takes me in his mouth, and my head falls back on to the floor hard, but I don't care.

He takes it all in; he must have done this before. I feel as though it must be hurting the back of his throat but his head moves down and up more quickly, like he's hungry. He's making me feel great.

I'm hard within minutes and he lets me drop from his mouth so he can take his clothes off, his body is what I excepted, fine and smooth. I run my hands through his chest hair and he leans down to give me a hard kiss.

He removes his jeans and boxers. His cock is slightly bigger than mine and I feel my cheeks get hot. He wraps his hand over my cock tightly and gives me a few sharp tugs. He reads my mind and just smiles at me.

'Don't worry.' He tells me and I instantly relax.

I get up to lean on my knees and hands so I can return the favour but he looks at me questionably.

'What do you think you're doing?'

I bit my lip and just sit there. I don't know how to word it… it's going to come out all wrong and he'll just see how ridiculously shy I am about the whole thing.

'I want to… you know… feel how you feel in my mouth.'

He looks at me and then down at his cock, and shakes his head. He's going to reject me…

'Maybe next time.' He smiles.

So there's going to be a next time? I shouldn't let it stick in my brain but it does and I smile back pleased.

He lifts my legs up and I rest them on his shoulders. I feel all my muscles tense up when he rubs around my opening. He just grins at me and rubs his hand up my chest and rests his fingers on my mouth, he instructs with his eyes to open my mouth and I do, I wet two of his fingers slowly and watch him bring his fingers back round to his aim.

It feels a lit bit more comfortable and with a few more wet strokes he enters me carefully. A softer side of him appears and this is the Brendan I want to keep. He leans over me whilst massaging my entrance, the only part of my body he knows, and the only person I will allow to know. It feels surreal, I can't explain the feeling, all the pain as gone and I'm now full of pleasure.

'Do you really want this?' I ask him still amazed.

He bites along my chin, hard and then soft and continues to do it and I feel like I'm going crazy, his fingers are one minute going slow and then fast.

'What do you think?' He asks as though the one before was ridiculous.

I close my eyes and open them again.

'It's just you're _Brendan Brady_… I'm not much compared to you.'

'Well, maybe that's the way I like it.'

He tells me reassuringly and kisses me soothingly. He removes his fingers from me and gets up to look in the side draw, I wonder what he's looking for until he winks with the condom in his hand.

He gives his cock three firm strokes.

'You want to do the honours?' He asks handing the condom to me.

I take it little bit to eagerly and rip it open, he sits waiting for me to slide it down him; the feel of his veins and muscles on my fingers make me grin. I still can't believe we're doing this.

I lay back down a little bit anxious, but I can't wait to experience to feel of him inside me. He lifts my legs up again and lines his cock with me opening. Before he goes any further he look up at me:

'Ready?' He smiles devil like, but his voice is tender.

I smile and nod my head.

He pushes into me slowly and wary. When he's fully inside me we both grunt with pleasure. He slides in and out of me with ease, each stride growing in confidence. He growls has he thumps me harder and faster, I watch him close his eyes and observe how his mouth twitches up and down with each new move.

With every push I feel closer to the edge and before I can tell him to slow down he grabs my cock in his hand and speeds up his pace. We both watch on as my toes and body shake with my orgasm, it spurts all over my chest and his hand.

'Mmm.'

Is the only sound he can make. He slides out of me slowly and brings his cock to my face, he wanks himself furiously and scrunches his eyes shut and grunts loudly as his load hits my open mouth and face. It tastes salty and strong but the taste of him is too good so I shallow all I am given, he watches on trying to catch his breath back.

He slumps down at the side of me.

'I can't believe we just did that.' I say staring up at the ceiling.

I look at him and I see him staring at our naked bodies.

'Me either.'

**A/N: Was slightly rushed! Sorry about that. Hope it was okay. Reviews would be lovely. FCC? x**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to those who read the last chapter! I appreciate it a lot. **

**Enjoy. **

**Brendan's POV**

Stephen. What a bastard. We… slept together, how could I have convinced myself that's what I wanted? Yes, it was…is my fault, but I'm not going to let myself suffer.

He's a great worker, respects me, knows how I work, and accepts me for me. Now, I've ruined it all because my want for him become unhide able. I realized there was something about him that was attractive. He's cute and as a vulnerable side to him that makes me go a bit soft… that's the side to him that annoys me, the ability to make me feel genuine like for someone, for him.

I haven't slept a wink, we're still laid here side by side, his head on my chest and his arms wrapped around me tight. I wish I didn't realize the way he snores gently and how he snuggles closer into me. I've attempted to move several times but it's no good.

Our clothes lay together carelessly across the floor, and the scent of our sex enters my lungs, I close my eyes and the picture of his face glosses over my sight; I see the way his face tightens up as he lets go of his pleasure. I feel the side of cheek rise as I smile. Idiot, I curse myself.

I need to get out of here. Get away from him.

I take his arm off my waist carefully and get to my feet. He stirs in his sleep… fuck, he opens his eyes and smiles tiredly up at me.

'Don't leave me.' He whispers groggily.

I pull up my jeans and put my shirt on. I just smile at him…he looks so good, the want to ravish him again nags at my brain, but I will not let this happen again I shout at myself.

'I'm just getting some milk for a coffee. I won't be long.' I lie and pick up my jacket and escape from the narrow cage I feel I'm in.

'Brendan!' He shouts, but I ignore him and go wherever my legs take me.

* * *

I sit in the office and take an aspirin. My head is banging, playing images of last night over and over again. As many times as I try the thoughts just don't shift.

The knock on the door disturbs me; he enters happily and closes the door behind him. He walks towards me and sits on the edge of the table, his grin spreading light through the room. I want him, so bad.

'I was waiting for my coffee this morning, but it never came.' He says sadly, but the constant smile on his face tells me he's enjoying this.

I can't let him get to me. Won't allow him to work his touch on me. I get up and try to leave quickly, but he grabs at my waist and he as me once again.

'I enjoyed last night.' He tells me confidently.

Yeah, me too I angrily repeat in my head, but it will never happen again.

'Good. Haven't you got work to be doing?'

He plays with the bottom button of my shirt lazily.

'Maybe, it's just I can't seem to get my mind into gear.' He flatters his eyes at me, his eye lashes are so long, why am I letting myself fall for him? This isn't me.

'I haven't got time for this Stephen.' I tell him sharply.

He drops his hands from my waist and looks down at his hands; he starts messing with them worryingly.

'I'm sorry… It's just… you know, I've never done this kind of thing before.'

You're not the only one I think to myself.

'Just play it cool. It was a bit of fun. Let's not make this into something it's not.' I say that for my own sake more than I do his.

'Oh.' He says sadly.

He stands in front of me and holds my gaze. It's making me go crazy. He rubs his fingers across my crotch gently, he wears me smallest smile on his face:

'Just one last time?'

**A/N: This was supposed to be full of angst! But I keep writing smut! Reviews would be lovely. And sorry for been so out of character with Brendan, I can't seem to write him like the arsehole he really is. Though, he is bloody sexy! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Not very happy with this chapter. Someone needs to write some actual decent Ste/Brendan fictions! **

**Thanks again for all those who read and reviewed. They make me smile! **

**Again, I failed miserably with Brendan's characteristics (Ste's isn't perfect either.) **

**Anyway, enjoy! **

**Ste's POV.**

I sound so needy, I know I do, but it's the affect he has on me. We've only slept together once; he's probably forgotten how good it was, and I'm stood in front of him practically begging for more.

'We can't…not here.' He says with his eyes fixed on the office door.

'But no one's here, Brendan.' I smile up at him slightly, and place my hands back onto his hips.

'You don't give up easily, do you?'

He smiles slightly, though it doesn't look genuine. I feel a gutting in my stomach, without a word I just make my way to the door; this is pointless I yell at myself.

He grabs my arm roughly and pushes me up against the wall in a swift move. His warm, hard breath rushes over my face and I feel intoxicated. He cockily grins at the way he as me so easily, I wish I could have the ability to push him away, but I would only be fooling myself if I thought I could push this man away from me. My body and mind is full of want for him, he's good I'll give him that. What a bastard.

'I enjoyed last night Stephen.' He admits.

I can feel a 'but' coming up.

'But…?' I ask slightly worried he'll say it was just a one off.

'But nothing, we just need to be careful. I don't want people knowing about us. Understand?'

I stroke up his arms gently and rest my arms on his shoulders. I smile at him like a boy with his first crush.

'I understand.'

He smiles at me and puts his fingers on my chin, he winks at me and brushes his lips against mine; it's the faintest touch but it tingle's on my lips for ages after he lets go.

I don't realize my eyes are still closed until he nudges me with his nose. I open them slowly and he smiles at me with a charming smile, my speech seems to have vanished and all I can feel is him holding onto me.

'What about tonight?' He asks and I'm not quite sure what he means.

'Huh?'

'How do you fancy a repeat performance?'

Without doubt I answer him excitedly:

'Definitely!'

I grasp onto his neck and kiss him with a knowable need for his attention, he responds quickly and nips his tongue into my mouth with pleasure, and pushes me further into the wall, he grinds his hips along with mine getting more into the moment and forgetting his surroundings. Our breaths get heavier and clumsier, he slides his hand under my top and runs his finger across my exited, tensed muscles; he's got me so good.

The need to breathe comes too much and I have to push him away reluctantly.

'I thought you said we need to be careful.' I chuckle breathlessly.

He looks up at the roof and sighs, slightly frustrated. I hope he doesn't think I'm messing around with him, I want him so much, but knowing he doesn't want to risk anything I want to play by his rules.

'We do,' he rests his forehead against mine, it feels intimate and I can't help but smile happily 'right, we should get some work done.'

'What about tonight then?' I ask hopefully.

He removes all contact from my body and I feel a bit lonely, he walks to the office door and turns around to face me, he just nods with a small smile. I can't help but jump up and down with excitement.

**This went nowhere, sorry about that. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know I write this before every chapter, but thank you so much for taking your times to read and/or review. You're all lovely! **

**I write this purely for you guys… and maybe some of the images that go through my head whilst writing it. :P **

**Roll on Friday, can't wait to see them again! The show feels empty with the moustache stallion and cute, vulnerable Ste. **

**Enjoy! **

I've been sat waiting for him over an hour now. Amy's gone to Lee's with the kids, so I needn't worry about that, they'll be ages until they come back.

He told me he'd be here before 9, but it's now half 9; the last half hour seems like a year of waiting. He told me not to text or ring him seen as he'll be at work, which I fully respect, but I can't help but look at my phone every other second to see if he's been in touch with me - it's a waste of time.

I calm my nerves by making my way to the kitchen and putting on the kettle. I almost drop the cup in shock when I hear a knock at the door. He's here! I practically run the door and open it; he enters quickly without a word. He's dressed casually; I think I may prefer this Brendan to the suited and booted Brendan oh, who am I kidding, he's sexy in anything he wears.

'You want a drink? I've just put the kettle…'

'I didn't come here to have a drink.' He butts in.

He makes me feel on edge, I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing? He walks like a predator around the house, the small movements he makes seem so big, his small foot steps sound loud, and his musky scent fills my nostrils.

He walks up to me and backs me against the kitchen counter. He places his hands either side of my waist and places them on the side.

'I thought you weren't going to turn up.' I tell him, trying to concentrate on how to my form my words right without them coming out in a rush.

'The club got a bit busy… you need to try and be a bit more patient.' He jokes charmingly. I can't help but apologize:

'I'm sorry… I just thought you were having second thoughts.'

He moves closer into me and removes any gap we had between our bodies, he bits hard on my bottom lip, but then soothes the small pain with a soft lick of his tongue.

'Tasty.' He breathes.

We look each other in the eyes as our lips fit together in a slow kiss, he puckers his lips deliciously as he takes control, I try to keep my eyes open to watch his moves but passion comes too much and I close my eyes and take in his touch. It remains slow for a few seconds until he places his hand on the back of my neck and turns my head to the side to gain entrance into my greedy mouth.

His tongue travels around the roof of my mouth and slides lightly along my teeth. I pull him in closer by nipping at his hair with my fingers, my tongue finds the new maze of his mouth and I take in all he allows.

He lifts my arms from his head and raises my arms up, he removes my t-shirt, and he throws to the floor carelessly. He then raises his own arms and I pull off his T.

Our warm flesh makes contact for the first time in hours; I notice how his breath grows faster and deeper.

'Let's go to bed.'

I say taking his hand; he picks up our tops from the floor. We enter the bedroom and he frantically takes off my jeans and boxers. I try to take control before he takes it back; I get to my knees and remove his belongings.

* * *

He's hard; I look up at him with a grin. He knows what I'm thinking and I can see the hesitation on his face…

'You promised.' I remind him.

Before he pulls me back up to his level I take all that I can into my mouth. The feel of his veins run along my mouth and I can't help but hmm lightly against him.

I open my eyes to look up at him; his head his thrown back and his eyes are shut tight, he licks his lips in delight. Thank God he's enjoying it I cheer in my head. To say it's my first time it feels 'normal' and I grow that bit more confident with each suck.

I relax my throat and take all of him in, he groans appreciatively. It makes me gag slightly but I go for more and each new move makes him moan louder. Before I know it his hands are on the back of my head, whilst he slams his cock further into my throat.

* * *

He lets me open the condom, I slip it down him. He feels like solid rock in my hand. He kisses at my Adams apple and neck, one hard the next soft, then a soft nip followed with a bite, a soft lick then a hard twirl.

I lay back on the bed as he lines his cock with my relaxed entrance; there are no nerves or doubts this time round, I am just full of lust for him. I put my legs onto his shoulders and he slowly lays over me and lays butterfly kisses on my lips. I kiss him back gently as I feel him push steadily into my body, he seems so caring and gentle when we have sex, it's like a totally different person.

'Shit.' He says as he slides into me with much more ease this time round.

It feels beautiful, he looks at me with a grin and any pain I should have doesn't appear.

His pacing grows faster and he bites the top of my thigh, he's getting close already, I can tell by the way his mouth twitches up and down. I flick at his nipples to tell him that he can let himself go, he's clearly sensitive; he laughs roughly and he pushes my hand away, he places both my hands above my head.

'I want to watch you cum.'

His strides into me slow down, he looks at me as though I've said the worst thing ever, and fear runs through my body. I slide my legs down his back and rest them on his arse, I push him into me; I don't want this to stop.

'Stephen…' He finally says.

'Stop.'

I do as he says and just let him pull out of me. I sit up and I expect him to run a mile, but he doesn't, he just sits next to me and runs his hand across his head.

'I always fuck it up. I'm sorry Brendan.'

He sighs, frustrated.

'It's got nothing to do with you… I'm just not ready for all the intimate stuff.'

'A guy like you is never gonna be intimate with me anyway… especially if I'm not what you usually go for.'

I say finally realising I was stupid if I thought we had anything more than this - sex. Which is fine, it excites the hell out me, but do I really just want that? The way that he looks at me, the way he makes me feel… it tells me that what we have isn't enough.

'We just need to slow down, everything is moving so fast Stephen, you're nice lad, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't like you.'

He turns and looks at me. I automatically put his hand in mine, he doesn't pull away… it's going to be so backwards if I just say it, he's not going to understand at all. Yeah, he's just told me he 'likes' me, but that's hardly how I feel for him…

Should I just say it?

**A/N: This chapter is a joke… so sorry it's like a yo-yo. I was struggling to get the feel right, plus I failed again with Brendan! I'm not making excuses, but I was suffering a bit with 'writers block'. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thought a name change was needed. Hope it didn't cause any confusion! **

**Last chapter bugged me, sorry to keep going on about it. Reviews are really kind though. Thank you so, so much! **

**Ste's POV **

We just sit hand in hand, I look up at him every now and again to try and see what he's thinking, but it's no good; he's a blank page. But he strokes his thumb over my fingers sensitively and I smile to myself.

'What are you thinking?' He finally breaks the silence.

I just bite at my bottom lip nervously and don't answer him. I remove the warmth of his hand from mine and fold my arms defensively. He wouldn't understand how could he when I don't have a clue how to understand my own feelings.

I just shake my head; this isn't going to work.

'Nothing, Cheryl will probably be wondering where you are.'

He comes closer to me and rests on his hand so he's sat up straight, he looks me firmly in the eyes and asks me again:

'What are you thinking?'

'I don't want to say it… and you definitely won't want to hear it.'

I pull the bed sheets from me and put my boxers back on.

'Stephen, don't push me… just fucking answer me.'

He gets out of the bed and puts on his own clothes, he walks calmly towards me and I search his face for an answer; I want him to give me the answer, I want him to give me even the slightest idea of how I'm feeling about him. I want him to okay with what I might be feeling, respect how he's made me reliant on him.

'Why do you care?' I ask straightening my hair back into place.

'I've just been honest with you Stephen, something I struggle with. A bit of how you're feeling could make me feel at ease, make me know that this whole… stuff with us isn't a sick joke.'

I look up him:

'You think what we're doing is sick?'

He walks back to the bed agitated.

'I don't know… maybe, I enjoy sleeping with you, I enjoy spending time with you, but everything after that makes me feel cold and ashamed of myself.'

Right, he wants honesty. I'll give him all I can before I lose my nerve.

'Well you shouldn't… you make me feel good about myself, you scare the shit out of me sometimes but I finally know a side to you that not many others do, you let me see a side to you that I really like Brendan. Why are you so scared of the whole 'intimacy' stuff? You don't always have to be the bad man.'

I take a seat next to him on the bed and hope he will open up to me, if it only is a little bit. I'm willing to listen to anything he has to say.

'I wish I knew. You, Cheryl and the club are basically all I have here, I love Cheryl to pieces, the club is making good process… you, I don't know, you make me feel like I'm turning into a soppy old man sometimes, I like that you trust me and that you look up to me, which is good… but I have so much to lose if we get found out… I don't want to be scared to let myself embrace how I might feel about you, but the voice in my head and my background tell me it would be breaking all those rules I've grown up with.'

I takes a deep breathe and carries on.

'This is me, Stephen. This is how I work, it's maybe not the best way to go about things, but I don't think I'm ready for change just yet.'

Blimey, I was expecting that. I take his hand again and hold it tightly.

'This is turning into a counselling session, isn't it?' He looks at me and we both let out a small laugh.

'I really like you Brendan… really like you.' I sort blurt out in a whisper, but he doesn't seem to grasp what I'm really trying to say.

'Well, I am rather attractive, it's only natural.' He says nudging me with a cheeky smile.

I place my right hand other our already entwined fingers. I look up at him and kiss his cheek.

'What's that for?' He asks slightly taken aback.

'Just my way of saying thank you I suppose.'

He suddenly changes on me, and his emotions vanish from his face, he drops our hands and looks at his watch:

'It's getting late, I should probably be going. See you at work tomorrow.'

He knows… he must of clicked on… he knows without me even saying those words. I should feel relieved that I haven't had to say them out loud, but I don't. I feel worse, fuck sake Ste, grow some back bone I scream in my head. Before he can totally disappear from my view I shout:

'Don't run away from me.'

I walk up to him and he turns around to face me.

'You've been honest with me; I've been honest with you…'

'Maybe we've had enough honesty fro one night.' He tries to joke.

I scratch my forehead frustratingly. I don't want feel this way!

'You know don't you… was this a plan to make me fall for you and then when I do you don't want to know me anymore?'

I don't know where it comes from but I snap at him. What an idiot, why am I being like this? He's probably going to batter the shit out of me, and I deserve it, letting myself get so attached so easily. It was a bit of fun, he said that, I understood it was nothing more.

'I did tell you Stephen this was only a bit of fun, don't you dare turn this round on me. I like you… why do any other emotion need to get dragged into this?'

'Just hit me, I know you want to! I didn't ask to fall for you, I didn't even realize I was, but tonight was something else… it meant something to me.'

He puts my head in his hands roughly.

'Look at me.'

I warily open my eyes and wait for a punch…

'I'm not going to hit you, for fuck sake. This as just gone too far, that's all. You need to get your head together, there's no way you… there's no way that you could lo' he grips into my head harder and bites his lip before continuing 'love me… it's total nonsense.'

I try to relax my face in his tight grip he sees me trying and he relaxes his hands on my shoulders.

'This isn't some school crush Brendan. You think I wanted to fall for a sexy, unknowing nutter like you? You drive me crazy!'

He just laughs at me, it's not a patronising laugh; it sounds sad and low.

'I'm sorry…'

He's sorry? _Brendan Brady_ is sorry? Well that must be a first. I want him to hug me; I want him to tell me that it's okay and that it's not wrong to… love another man.

'That makes both us.'

He lets go of me and straightens himself out, he places a false smile on his face:

'I need to go.'

'Stay!' But it's too late, he closes the door behind him and I fall down the wall, my whole body aching and confused.

**A/N: Ooh, this was very full of dialogue. I'm just going to stop worrying about Brendan for now, I don't think I'll ever get his character right, Ste's was off in this chapter, too. Anyway, hope it was okay! Much love. X **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'd like to say a little thanks to **_**HG112 **_**for the constructive criticism, it does wonders for my writing, I will try to play it a bit more real with Brendan's character… it's just the stuff we see on screen is going to be so hard to watch, I wanted to write it a bit more softer in this fiction. Plus, I worry so much about Brendan's characterisations that I try too hard, and that makes it more off. Anyway, I hope you, and anyone else who reads this can still enjoy this! **

**If it seems too 'off' and rubbish then I can stop writing it, it's no problem.**

'I'm going back to Ireland for a few days.'

I haven't heard from him for a week now, he let me have a week off, a week off that wasn't needed or planned. In other words, he just didn't want to see me. And now I return to work this is the first thing he tells me. Not even a 'hello'. I guess this is all my fault, I should of seen it coming.

'What about here?'

I try and play it cool, but the way my voice breaks gives it away straight away. He can't just up and leave after all we've said to each other.

'There's Cheryl, you, Jacqui and Rhys. I think things will be just fine.'

I just sigh and place the crate of lager I'm carrying onto the floor. He stands against the door frame with his arms folded. A part of me wants to run past him and block anything we had between us from my life, and the other part of me wants to walk up to him and hold him tightly so he won't leave, or at least think twice about going back to his hometown.

But I realize that would mean we had to talk again, or he would have to open up to me, which he so badly as difficulty with.

'You know that's not what I meant… I meant me? I know you won't come back if you go.'

He just laughs and turns an empty crate over so he can sit on it.

'You're inside my head now Stephen, now there's a talent. Of course I'll come back, Chester is my home now. I just need a break that's all.'

'A break from me?' I ask leaning against the wall behind me.

He looks up at me and shakes his head:

'Not everything is about you!'

'But it is about me, isn't it? It's obvious Brendan, I'm not stupid.'

He looks at his watch and gets up from his short stay, he clearly doesn't want to be in the same room as me anymore - how can a few honest words mess everything up?

'Crack on before I dock your wages.'

Is he been serious?

'Don't bother… I quit!'

I move as fast as I can to get away from him, but he blocks my exit and stands broadly in front of me. I'm tired of this now; I won't let him walk all over me. I can be strong.

'That wouldn't be the best idea you've had now would it, Stephen.'

'Can you move please?' Of course, it's a rhetorical question and he's not going to move, the determination set on his face say it all.

'I want to go home, will you just move?'

'Stephen I'm still your boss… you won't leave here, you need the money and no one else will hire you.'

Oh, I can't be doing with this. He's right, he's always right. I need this job and I can't say I really want to work anywhere else.

'Fine… you're right. Can I get back to work now?'

'I'm leaving tonight…' His breath feels closer to me then ever.

I haven't yet looked at him; I just keep my eyes fixed on the wine rack at the side of us. If I look at him he will have me within seconds. He's not playing with my feelings anymore, if he's not interested then fine… I can live with that, but it will stop now.

'Right, enjoy your flight. I'll see you when you get back.'

'Do you fancy a drink with me and Cheryl? She wants us to have a little meal before I go.'

My head screams YES, but I just make up an excuse:

'No, it's okay. Lucas as got the doctors… like I said, I will just see you when you get back.'

I make to leave again but he pushes me forward and shuts the door behind him; he turns us around so I'm now leant against the door, thank god, otherwise my legs would have buckled beneath me. I turn to jelly.

'Well we can just say goodbye now then, can't we?'

For the first time in ages I look at him… those eyes, the eyes that came alive whilst we had sex, the same eyes that turn my stomach alight.

'How's that sound?' He asks slipping his arms around my waist possessively.

All thoughts in my head disappear, all those thoughts that were telling me to just let him go seem to have now turned against me…

'Good.' I whimper.

**A/N: Yes, there is more sex on the way. Sorry… or am I? ;-). Hope you enjoyed it, this was just a filler - as you've already guessed if you've read it. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I apologize for not updating in a while, I got a bit caught up in reading other Ste/Brendan fictions (which were superb) and made me realize how bad I was with this writing. I don't think my abilities can stretch that far into writing Brendan any good. Thank god to all the ones that can write him well!**

**So, please, I'd like to just continue in the way I've been writing him so far, this will probably now look a joke compared to all the new ones popping up. But, hey ho, the show must go on! **

**Hope you still enjoy guys. :-) **

**Brendan's POV**

I take great pleasure in knowing I have him wrapped around my little finger. The way he digs his fingers into the back of my head, the way he grabs tightly around my waist; I have him, all of him.

I sit him up on two barrels and he grinds closer in to me, his breathing growing sharper and sharper as I rub his hardening cock through the fabric of his trousers.

'You don't want me to go, do ya'?'

I breathe confidently in his ear. He pulls back a bit, his eyes look… sad? I can't say I've paid much attention to them before, or really wanted to pay attention to them, but they strike me at this moment.

'Would it make any difference?'

I think for a moment, I know it will upset him if I go, I know I will be hurting him; I kind of want that. I mean, he must have some fault for us coming back to this moment, us giving in all the time. He clearly asks for it more than me. But, the nagging bit my head that is glued to my mind knows that this is not all his fault, there is own disgust at my own door, for even starting this and, most importantly, wanting to carry it on.

Without answering him I place my lips back on his roughly, he's a good kisser, the way his lips feel soft and shake against my own, the way he turns his head to the right to let me gain entrance into his mouth, without doubt, he knows who's in charge. But, noticing these little things about him scares the shit out of me, this isn't me. I so want to…hate him for this put my own pain onto him, but I don't feel right treating him in that way.

As much as I'd like to rip away all those thoughts about him from my head, they're still there. They still scream in my head and frustrate the hell out of me. He frustrates the hell out me. When he said the big L word I couldn't get away from him fast enough, I blanked him for a whole week, couldn't look at him whilst he tried to grab my attention, but when he'd give up trying I'd be the one to do the watching, annoyingly enjoy the way he'd smile at the punters, how he'd lean over the bar waiting for more stuff to do.

His warm hands find there way up my shirt, he's soon back in the moment. His finger tips run lightly over my nipples, I can't ignore the way my legs buck forward in a shiver. I unzip his hoodie and discard it onto the floor; he leaves my kiss and gets off from what must be, an uncomfortable seat, and starts to unbutton my shirt. Each new button that he opens he kisses a piece of flesh until he's near my belt.

The laughter from above us soon rings around the cellar; I back away and pick up his belongings from the floor:

'Get dressed.' I tell him dressing myself.

He looks at me slightly disheartened; I could never allow us to do _this_ here. All the dignity I have left would soon disappear in a flash. Though the excitement and slight danger excites me it would be wrong, we just can't.

'I thought you… I thought you wanted to.'

I straighten up my shirt and just shake my head at him:

'No, not here. Let's just get back to work.'

He clenches his fist several times, I can't help but laugh. Anger? It's not something you'd expect from Stephen. Well, there are not many things you really expect from Stephen, at least I don't; 'part from him to work here, respect me and to play by my rules.

'Fine… but I've had enough of this now… you're so hard to work out Brendan… one minute you show affection, the next you can do small talk, then the next you're so…off with me. I'm not sure I want this.'

What more does he want from me? I give him more than I do anyone else… he's not the only one who can't do 'this'. It may as well come to an end.

'I'm not changing for you, Stephen.'

He stands closer into me and looks me in the eyes:

'I don't want you to… I just don't like to be played for a fool. This is scaring the hell out of me…'

'Let's forget it and move on then.' I tell him brushing his hands away from me.

I don't look at him as I know his face will be full of hurt and confusion. It's best this stops now, it's gone too far. I've gone too far.

'Forget? Brendan have you forgot everything I said to you!'

He mildly exclaims. I turn around to face him and place my hand on his chest, a kind of barrier or a stop gap from him getting any closer, not quite sure what.

'I don't want this anymore… fun is fun, you tuck it too fair Stephen. It's time to back off now.'

I blame him. He just shakes his head in disbelieve.

'_You _followed _me _here. I won't beg you to stay if that's what you want… you can't just let me fall in to your false charm and brush me off when you please. But, don't worry, like you said, it was a bit of fun, though I clearly have feelings for you… how stupid of me.'

He brushes my hand off his chest slowly and carries on:

'But don't worry; I'll try my best to just get rid of them. And I won't breathe a word to anyone about us. I was just your dirty little secret… which is just FINE.'

This is what I want to hear, right? So why do I feel the need to give him an explanation? Instead I just do what I do best.

'Well done Stephen, you got it one. Now, if you don't mind, you have work to do and I've got a plane to catch.'

He walks to the door; his body seems to move in slow motion before my very eyes. I sigh as he opens the door… how is he having this affect on me? I want to hit myself over and over again to stop whatever it is that's going on between us; I want to stop what's going on inside my head.

He catches me off guard, he turns around slowly. His eyes shimmer from the light as tears form loosely in his eyes:

'Bye.' He smiles sadly and closes the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I thought I'd best get a crack on with this again! I can't remember the last time I updated this. **

**Little recap… Brendan's throwing out mixed signals, Ste says he'll quit his job and Brendan goes to Ireland. **

**Hope you still enjoy! **

**Ste's POV. **

1month later.

Things have been a little tiresome without Brendan here, work wise I mean. Cheryl has been going out of mind with worry, she hasn't spoken to Brendan for a week now, and she's worried. I've tried my best to ring him me, but hangs up or just doesn't bother answering.

I'm past trying now. I have my kids and Rae to think about. He's my past and they are my future.

It's another busy Saturday night, students drunk and been a little noisy. But it's all in good spirit, I wouldn't mind joining them if wasn't for work.

There's only me and Rhys working tonight, it always seems to be doing all the work though, and he just sits there on his phone whilst I run around like a blue arse fly.

I place the clean glasses back in their places. The strong accent behind me is louder than the music playing.

'Whisky…'

I don't even need to look back. I'd know that voice anywhere. It's him, he's back.

I push the glass to the shot and watch it pour into the glass. I breathe heavily and turn to place the glass on the bar. I daren't look at him because I'm not sure what I'd do. Maybe hit him, possibly shout or pull him in for a long snog. I'm not sure he'd be grateful for any of them.

I try to move but he leans his arm over the bar and holds my arm firm stopping my movements.

'I need to serve people.' I tell him still not looking at him.

'Rhys,' He calls 'chop chop, people need serving.'

He shakes his head as though he's going to protest, and I wouldn't blame him. He's been gone for a month and the minute he's back he thinks he can order us around.

'Get your hands off of me.' I say trying to free myself for his touch.

He does so slowly. I glance at him from the corner of my eye and watch him swig the shot down in one. He croaks slightly at the heat hitting his throat.

'Office… Now.'

He walks to the office casually, he doesn't look back to see if I'm following. He's used to me been at his feet with a click of his fingers… I wish I could just ignore him, just carry on out here. But as my legs guide me towards the office door I know he's won again.

**A/N: Just a short chapter… I'm gonna try and get you all the mooood for the things to follow. ;) **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter contains… wait for it… TALKING! Yes, you read right, actual TALKING. **

**Now, in no way shape or form would this happen on screen, but that's the art of fan fiction, no? There will be smut soon, don't worry smutty folk. ;) **

**Hope you enjoy! **

**Ste's POV**

He throws the keys at me and I catch them; I turn back towards the door and lock it.

I sit on the chair facing him from across the desk, my head hangs low. I'm a bit…embarrassed that I've followed his orders this quickly. I will stand up to him. I will.

I can sense his eyes burning into my skin…my body. Sounds proper stupid, I know, but that's the sort of thing he's capable of.

I finally find the courage to look up, but I still keep my eyes diverted anywhere but him. I chew my bottom lip a few times… urgh, why did he have to come back? He's make me feel so…small, but then the smug git as the power to make me feel like the most important person in the world.

He leans back further into his chair, making it creak. I see his hand reach towards the table and he picks up a pen. My eyes follow his action, (I don't mean to, I just do) and he places it in his mouth slightly. Not too far, but just enough for me to see his teeth take a grip of it. Bastard.

I know he's waiting for me to talk first, but I know if I do I will never 'shut it' as Brendan likes to say. I don't talk that much… he just doesn't talk at all, there's were we differ.

He soon becomes bored of the 'playfulness' and chicks the pen back on the table.

'Drink?' He asks pouring whiskey into a glass, clearly annoyed.

I just shake my head. I don't wan… need anything from him, specially his knock off alcohol.

'Cat caught ya tongue, Stephen?' He asks leaning forward so he can rest his arms on the table.

'What do you want from me, Brendan?'

I finally look him straight in the eyes. Just the lazy examination I do of his face, the lines on his forehead, are enough to make my belly do summersaults.

He senses his effect on me; he smirks wildly and swigs at his shot.

'Hmm, ya not in a rush are ya?'

I sigh, annoyed.

'I'm working, Brendan, and you can't just come back here after a month of hearing nothing from you and expect me to jump up and down in joy.'

He crinkles his nose up slightly; his moustache rising with it. GUH.

'Aww, I'd of enjoyed that. A lot.'

I want to smile… will he stop making me want to smile? I am supposed to be mad at him!

'I called you day after day and you didn't even answer, not once.'

He tots at me, as though I'm the one who was in the wrong. He shouldn't have pissed off in the first place!

'I'm a very busy man, Stephen. You know that. I can't be answering your calls every two minutes to hear you whickering on like an old woman.'

He pauses.

'Anyway, I'm here now.'

And that makes a difference? I think to myself, it was still a month of nothing. No contact at all, I missed him. I missed so, so much.

'Yeah… I've noticed.'

'How's things been going then?' He asks. He sits back in his chair and places his legs on the table. Ha, he must be joking if he thinks we can have a good old talk about what he's missed out on whilst he's been away.

'Fine…'

He raises his eyebrows up and puts the tip of his finger in his mouth. He's forever putting things in his mouth! And, no, not just my cock, though I do miss that sensation… a lot more than I'd care to imagine.

'Fine? Is that it, what about the kids?'

I fold my arms across my chest.

'They are… fine. There's nothing to tell you really.'

Okay, Ste, this isn't want you want. Not really, you crave this… this will for him to talk to you, ask you questions, open up to you. I shake my head as the voices in my head become more louder.

I do want to talk to him… I do, but he's made me so angry! And there's no way he's going to let me shout at him until I turn blue in the face.

I grumble, slightly in defeat. Only slightly though, he's not won me over… yet.

'How was Ireland?'

He runs his finger across his lips and raises one side of his mouth into a smile.

'It was good yer know, Declan's finally been seen to for his illness. Oileen wa civil to me, though that new chap of hers looks like a bad shaped, uglier version of James Nesbitt.'

James Nesbitt? Really… that's a bit of a downgrade though I did like him in Cold Feet.

'That's good about, Declan.' I smile.

He seems genuinely pleased. I know the moments he spends with his kids are his happiest. It's the same with me that.

'Yeah, he's a star.'

His eyes wonder to the celling as though he's thinking about something; thinking about home no doubt. He quickly takes his legs off of the table and sits properly in his chair.

'Cheryl's been worried sick about you.' I tell him.

He rubs his fingers across his forehead and sighs. Pouring another drink he replies;

'Yeah, my bad, I've spoken to her though. Everything's cool.'

'That's good. She was threating for the whole four weeks bless her, but I was worrying myself ya know, Brendan, and it's hard to…'

'Stephen.' He gestures me stop by raising his hand in front of us.

'There goes that tongue of yours again.'

Eh? He wanted to talk… I think and when I am he shuts me up? I wish I could work him out, there is so much to him; so many aspects to him that I am yet to understand, but all of them amaze me, even the not so nice ones.

'I'm mad at you, Brendan. I'm not apologizing… you should though, really.'

And he should say sorry, it's not right man. But when does Brendan every say the 'S' word? Never, that' when.

He rolls his eyes and makes a 'unf' sound.

'…Sorry.' He murmurs.

I almost give myself whiplash as I look at him. Did he just… nah, he can't have.

'What wa' that?' I ask, trying not to look too cocky.

'I am never repeating that word again. Ever.'

I smile as he shudders. Like the meaning as left a scar on his body. Rather amusing if I'm honest.

(5minutes silence.)

No exaggeration either, I've been watching the clock tick and tock for all of 5 minutes.

'Back.' He chirps from behind me.

God, he only went to the loo. But I really should leave now… it's late and I'm really tired.

I stand up and stretch my arms above my head. He leaves his hand on the door handle.

'You are going already?'

'Yeah, it's late and I'm tired. Plus, Rae will be wondering where I am.'

'Ahh,' he tilts his head back 'the lovely, Rae.'

Is he been serious? I don't want us to take 10 steps back after moving forward, slow steps yeah, but steps forward all the same.

He lets go of the handle.

'See ya in the morning, Stephen. Don't be late.'

I zip my hoodie up and smile him a thank you for not ruining his return.

'Yeah. Night.'

I walk to the door, so much for staying mad at him I shout at in my head. But it doesn't matter; I knew deep down it wouldn't last. It won't happen again though, I won't let it. I proper mean it this time.

'Oh, and, Stephen' he says smoothly as I turn the door handle 'I sorta missed you whilst I was away. But you just keep that bit of info between us two.'

**A/N: I know Brendan as another son, but I couldn't for the life of me remember his name! And there wasn't much talking in this chapter, was there? Sorry about that… **


	11. Chapter 11

**Ste's POV **

I walk to work feeling happier than I have in weeks. I smile to anyone that looks in my direction, slightly weird and I'm sure they wonder if I'm on drugs but I don't really care. I'm proper happy me, I just hope nothing ruins it.

I walk into, _ChezChez, _with my morning coffee and my bacon butty. Brendan's already behind the bar wiping down wine bottles with a tea cloth.

He missed me I remember his words as he looks up to see who's walked in. _He_ _missed me_.

I sit down on a bar stool and take my sandwich out of the bag. Brendan looks over at me and without a word leans over the bar and takes a bit out of my breakfast.

'Brendan!' I moan.

He then takes a slurp of my coffee, he screws his face up as he remembers I have three spoonful's of sugar and he only takes one.

'Stephen, your teeth will go black with the amount of sugar you have.'

He wipes the corner of his mouth as he eyes up my sandwich again.

I laugh and shake my head.

'Here, you might as well have it you greedy git.'

'Oh, and I don't have that much sugar in general.' I add a bit offended.

He takes the butty out of my hand and smiles.

'Don't call me greedy, Stephen, only because you have the body of a 10 year old.'

'No I don't!' I scrunch my face up and put a hand to my belly.

'At least I won't end up like you; ya won't be able to move soon you. You're already getting a double chin.'

I laugh. This is nice, just been able to have a bit of banter without having to worry about nothing or no one. It's easy and pleasant, just how it should be.

He takes another bite; he eats like an animal vicious, eager and sexy as fuck.

I try not to watch him too much as he eats, but I can't help it. Like anything else he does I have to watch, make sure I'm not dreaming about how he makes anything he does so charmingly.

'I thought you liked ketchup, Stephen?' He asks and washes it down with another sip of coffee.

'I do, but they had none so had to go for brown.'

'I did tell you brown sauce was much better, didn't I?'

'Yeah,' I pause 'but I still prefer red, I've loved since I was little, me.' I finish.

He smiles at me, a bit silly of me but I blush. He cleans the corners of his mouth once he's finished and smooth's down his suit jacket to get rid of the crumbs.

'Al'right, I'll let ya off. Am I looking dapper?'

He asks doing a swirl. I laugh and wrinkle my nose up.

'Very.'

His eyes click together with mine for a second or two and he seems unsure of himself. Like I don't want to know that part of him anymore and I know that's what I told myself last night; that what me and Brendan had would be no more, but I can't help it. Last night he made an effort and he's doing the same this morning, I can't just forget how he makes me feel.

He looks down as the first punters of the day walk in and I feel deflated, I don't him to keep building barriers between us.

'Good. You'd best get to work then.'

/

It's half one in the morning and Jacquie's just finished helping me with the tidying up. It's been a good night, got a few tips and the atmosphere was good. Brendan had to chuck out a lad though for getting into an argument over some bird.

I grab my coat and go upstairs to tell Brendan I've finished. I'm surprised to see him sat at a table in the middle of the floor, it's empty and all that is on it are his hands and a glass of whiskey. I look at him seriously confused, but I don't question him.

'Erm, I've finished now so I'll be off.'

'Just lock up and come back up here.'

He doesn't look at me as he talks. I just do as he says and I lock up. When I come back up there's a plate on the table with a sandwich on it.

What _is_ going on?

'Come on then, sit down.' He says his jaws clicking as he chews at his gum.

I sit on the chair and look at him then the table then back up at him.

'What is this, Bren?'

'It's two pieces of bread with something inside it. It's what us lot call sandwiches.' He drones.

He sounds… agitated, like he doesn't know why he's done it himself.

'I know that… but why?'

He tits and taps his fingers on the table.

'Does there have to be a reason?'

I shake my head and take a bite out of the sandwich. I smile and look down as I feel my cheeks burn up.

Bacon with red sauce, nice crispy bacon too, not of that usual cheap stuff I normally buy.

He goes to the bar and gets me a bottle of lager.

/

'Thank you.' I smile at him pushing the empty plate to the side.

'It was nothing.'

'Well, it meant something to me.' I tell him.

He chews harder on his gum; if he doesn't want to be here with me then he shouldn't have come up with this idea in the first place. I get up from my chair zip up my coat.

'You don't want me here so I'll be off.'

'No.' He says too quickly. 'Sit down, Stephen.'

I sigh and sit back down; he gives me a small smile and gives his forehead a scratch.

'What's wrong, Brendan?'

I drag the chair to the side of the table so I'm closer to him, I take his hand in mine and I feel him stiffen slightly but he doesn't push it off.

'I just want to be here for you… you don't have to do it on your own.'

'I don't need anybody, Stephen.' He lies. 'I'm a big boy.'

I take my hand off of his and shake my head; I just can't work out what's going on.

'Yeah, but… there's obviously something up with you, what's all this about?' I ask pointing at the table and plate.

'Just giving you the sandwich back I owe you from this morning.'

Ha! Yeah, of course, this is all about a bit of bacon? I don't think so.

'Don't lie to me, Bren. You've been so different since you've been back. I don't understand.'

I tell him honestly, I really don't understand. I'd like to, but means him telling me because I can't work it out for myself and trust me, I've tried.

'Oileen.' He simply says as though I have the answer.

I shake my head still not getting it.

'What about her?'

He blows out a sigh and takes his hand away from underneath mine.

'I told her about you.'

'Eh, what did you tell her?'

He looks at me; he's pissed off with me.

'Jesus, Stephen, I told her that me and you have been… you know.'

My mouth falls open as I try and register what he's said.

'She knows that you're gay?' I ask a bit too excited.

'Well, I never said I was queer. I just said we had a thing going.'

No, of course he told her he wasn't 'queer'. How silly of me to think he had, but he's told someone; told someone that he trusts, that surely means something, right?

'What made you tell her?' I lean forward wanting to hear everything.

He looks up at the ceiling as he tells me.

'I'd not been answering your calls had I? I stupidly left it in the kitchen and she was there when you'd rung me, she then asked me about 200 questions on whom you were and she wouldn't let it drop. A bit like you actually.'

He laughs, short.

'And what did you tell her about me?'

'Just stuff she wanted to hear really.'

'Right.' I say and I feel disappointed. I start fussing with my hands so he can't see my face.

'I also told her that you drive me crazy and that I'd fucked you around so much that I couldn't quite understand why you stuck around.'

He bites the inside of his mouth as I look back up at him; a smile quickly forms on my face. He really said that? Why wouldn't I stick around? I love him god's sake, but I can't risk saying that to him again.

'I ask myself the same thing actually.' We both smile at each other and I put my hand back into his.

'I just needed a break.' He tells me.

'I know you did.' I smile. 'I just want us to be together proper…'

I've said too much, I'm an idiot. He gives me a knowing look, his eyes set coldly on my face and I know I've messed up. I cough the tickle out of my throat and set to leave again.

'Sorry, Brendan.' Panicking I try and move my hand out of his but he grabs me tighter.

'I won't say it again, I promise. Can we just forget about it?' I know I'm gonna get a beating, but I can't take it; not this time.

I try and pull my hand away from his again but with his free hand he takes hold of my waist and pushes me onto the table. His thumb starts to smooth over my hand as he stands broadly over me.

He leans into me and his breath burns over my face, I keep my eyes closed as I try and see where this is going.

I feel a finger touch my skin and his lips brush over mine so gently I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or not.

'Lager, bacon and red sauce - what a beautiful combination.' He jokes.

'Sor…'

He takes away my speech as another brush of his lips is made with mine, his bottom lips sticks between mine as I breathe in his scent.

'No. I'm sorry.' He whispers, he comes closer and wraps his arms around me, tightly. His hand strokes up my back as I hold him back.

'We'll get there, Stephen.'

**A/N: Can you tell I have no idea where this is going? I'm really just writing what goes now… hopefully I can find a suitable ending soon. Hope it wasn't too rubbish. **


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